gurple (outkast1010) wrote,
gurple
outkast1010

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week 4...

ok...
so things have not slowed down since the word "go"...
life seems to be... kicking and screaming... trying to start...
i've found a new respect for several things...
things shouldnt be going so well...
this has never happened...
its like... winning the lottery on your birthday... on christmas... during a 4th of july celebration...
it just doesnt happen...
and on the same week... i get a call from an old bandmate wanting to restart the old band...
and then a random email from a bassist looking for a job...
and then... i found what i was looking for...
its such a strange situation...
it was like i looked everywhere... but couldnt see it... and the whole time... it had been right there... beside me... sometimes literally...
she's been there for years...
and i never noticed...
i dont know why...
was she overlooked?
no...
cause i saw her... alot...
and that whole year... i lost my mind... and i did everything i could to forget it and everyone involved...
but she wouldnt let me go...
i dont know why...
even when i flat out told her it was guilt by association... and to never speak to me again...
she still stayed with me...
i swear...
i'd give anything to go back and change it...
i could've ruined my life...
i did ruin a little over a year of it...
but she finally caught me...
in my little self induced downward spiral...
and she's helping me out of it...
or i'm helping her into it...

i found what i was looking for...
but in the back of my mind i cant help but wonder...
did she find what she was looking for?
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